I know a man called Andrew Gilligan

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I know a man called Andrew Gilligan
Read that dossier and saw spin, again
Found a boffin who thought it thin-igan
Good old Andrew Gilligan.

Begin again:

I know a man called Andrew Gilligan
Exposed boffin’s wagging chin-igan,
Made one claim which proved too thin-igan
Poor old Andrew Gilligan

Begin again:

I know a man called Andrew Gilligan
He defied New Labour’s will again
Alastair Campbell made a din, again
Poor old Andrew Gilligan

Begin again:

I know a man called Andrew Gilligan
Hutton gave him quite a grill-igan
Made him swallow bitter pill-igan
Poor old Andrew Gilligan

Begin again:

I know a man called Andrew Gilligan
The government only seemed to win again
But the secret’s out, and’ll never be in again

Good old Andrew Gilligan!

On to pastures new, Mr Gilligan! Begin again!

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Andrew Gilligan was the BBC reporter who interviewd Government scientist Dr David Kelly about the Government dossier detailing the reasons for going to war with Iraq in 2003. He alleged that an unnamed member of the intelligence community (later revealed to be Kelly) had said that many intelligence officers were unhappy that the case for war had been 'sexed up', especially by the prominent inclusion of a flimsy claim that Iraq could launch weapons of mass destruction within 45 minutes. This so angered the Government - and especially Blair's media chief Alistair Campbell - that extreme pressure was exerted on the BBC to retract and on the MOD to discover the name of Gilligan's informant. Kelly denied saying exactly what Gilligan had reported, and later appeared to have committed suicide as a result of the pressure (though Norman Baker MP believes he was murdered). The Government asked Lord Brian Hutton to hold an inquiry. In a report seen by many as a whitewash, Hutton found that Gilligan had exaggerated, that the dossier had been approved by the head of the intelligence services, and Kelly had committed suicide. Gilligan was forced to resign from the BBC, though noted pointedly that journalists were being held to higher standards than for example, Government dossiers. Those BBC top brass who had defended him also resigned. No public inquest has ever been held into Dr Kelly's death. Mr Gilligan is unrelated to Michael Finnegan. I wrote the rhyme in 2004, when he resigned. But I noticed his name on the credits of a Dispatches programme trashing British Airways on Channel 4 the other day and, writing for the London Standard, he helped to scupper Ken Livingstone's chances of a third term as London Mayor, so clearly he is not unemployable, post-BBC.

Jack Straw - Man o' War

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Home Secretary

Daily Mail
Hear them wail
“We must force parents not to fail!”

Jack Straw
Hear him roar!
“Children must obey the law!”

Curfew passes?
Parent classes?
Legislation swiftly passes.

(Jack acquires rimless glasses)

Enter Willie

Willie Straw
Bought some draw
Tried to sell it at a pub door.

Will got caught
And it taught
His dad a lesson,
Of a sort.

(Or so we thought.)

Foreign Affairs

Jack promoted,
Cook demoted.
Hawkishness
Becomes full-throated.

Hans Blix
Finding nix.
Forget the carrots –
Jack’s for sticks!

Jack Straw
Man o’War!
Beats his chest
And calls for more.

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I wrote this rhyme at a time when I was becoming increasingly dismayed about the extent to which the Labour Government in the UK had been trying to act 'tougher than the Tories' on crime and defence. Jack Straw started political life as a rebellious lefty, but as a Labour Home Affairs spokesman and later Home Secretary (1997-2001) pandered to the Tory right wing newspapers on criminal justice issues (though his son, was only cautioned for Supplying Cannabis, an offence usually carrying a sentence of imprisonment). Later, as Foreign Secretary, he supported the Bush/Blair invasion of Iraq, despite the fact that the UN Commission led by Hans Blix found no weapons of mass destruction. Whilst Russia, Canada, France and Germany all recommended a continuation of diplomacy combined with a tough inspection regime, Straw played a key role in British Government efforts to justify the war to the British public and the international community even though, as John Kampfner has found, he had urged Tony Blair not to send British Forces just ten days before the bombing started. It seems likely to me that the 'Man o'War' act was just that - an act for public consumption, concealing a rational objection to a reckless policy.